I know and have met many people who says that they are looking for “The Right One” well who is the right one, how do you define the right one? Let’s start with the women, many women are looking for that ideal guy that they have perhaps read about in some book or have seen in some movie, but what these women are not realizing is that these books and movies are all make believe. Many women have these ideas in their minds as to how a man should measure up and if he doesn’t then that means that he simply isn’t good enough for her. Women are for the most part never satisfied with what they have until they no longer have it. They always seem to be in search of something more, now I’m not saying a woman can’t have her standards but she shouldn’t think that a man will be able to meet and keep all of her expectations.

There was a girl that was dating this guy and according to her friends, they just thought that this wasn’t the guy for her. He wasn’t 6’2ft, his body type was not one of an athlete, and he looked aight..(ok proper English, he looked alright). Anyways, he never once disrespected her, or mistreated her but for some reasons he didn’t fully fit her idea of what her ideal mate should be. Anyways to cut a long story short, she broke up with the guy and ended up dating someone that she thought fit her idea of what person she deserved to be with, he had the hard rock abs, 6’3, and all her specs, he was “fiiinneee” like you ladies like to say. All of the physical specs she was looking for she found in this guy. Little did she know he was an abuser.  He abused this girl, physically, verbally and not to mention emotionally. He treated her as if it should have been a privilege for her to be with a guy like him.

So what does all of this mean, well sometimes we see a person and we judge them based on the way they look, the physical but we don’t stop to see what they are offering us beyond that. Many women are awaiting for a prince charming to come and sweep them of their feet and sometimes they stop at nothing to find what they looking for and when they think they have the “the one” they end up losing the “the one” that matters most, which is themselves because they being enslaved to the ideal man they were searching for. One of the characteristics that all men should have for women that are in search of the “the one” is RESPECT, first for God, for himself and of course for the person he is with. If we both have a communal respect for each other then everything really falls into place.

One day  I was at a barbershop one day waiting to get a haircut, and there was a conversation about love going on (crazy I know, but men talk about love too ladies).  Anyways, there was a question, what is the most important thing to have in relationship. Many of the men answered you have to have “love” of course and then this one guy said something that really got me. He said forget about love, you need someone that you can live with and someone you can’t stand not being around. Now I wouldn’t have said forget about love, but I think it’s equally important that you find someone that you enjoy being with and spending a lot of time with, or someone that you really don’t mind being around. It’s not just enough to have love, because it is very much true that you may love someone but you can’t stand being around them. I believe we don’t choose who we love but we choose who to stay with.

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