Sex Before Marriage: Why We Chose Not To Go There

Posted on: August 17th, 2010 by relationadmin | 10 Comments

Many males seem to think that sex is what defines them as man but I have news for you, if you need sex to make you a man then you truly have no idea what it means to be a man. A man is someone who takes care of his business and his woman. I don’t need to have sex with my girl for her to see me as a man. My thing has always been any loser can get laid. It doesn’t require much nowadays to get laid.

All you have to do is find a vulnerable woman/girl find the right moment and sweep her off her feet and the potential to get laid just skyrocketed. Sorry ladies, but sometimes it just seems that easy. A man to me is the guy that can keep his girl interested in him after many years and he’s still interested to his woman. It’s been a long time since my girl and I have been together, I kid you not, I still get a funny feeling in my stomach whenever I know I am going to see her.

Another reason for me, personally wanting to wait for our wedding day is that I feel a honeymoon isn’t really one if I have been getting it on prior, it should just be called a vacation or getaway (just thought I’d throw that in there). During the wedding, the girl gets to have all the glitz and glamour and well let’s say the guy gets to unwrap the present, his glitz and glamour at the end of the day, which should be the best gift yet (Oh Yeah).

I’ve heard from many people that  they will not marry a woman without having sex first with her, I guess to know if she’s any good and men aren’t the only one guilty of saying this too, but like I’ve said before this is the way we’ve chosen to live our lives that has worked for us. We find that putting God as the center and forefront of our relationship has allowed it to grow in ways we’ve never imagined, so yes the temptation is there but what’s more important to us than that is our relationship with God.  Now we know people will have their opinions and their own convictions, but all I know is that this is what has worked for us and God willing will continue to work for us until we say “I do”.

For all who are interested in biblical text that speaks on this:

Sex is a gift God gives to married people for their mutual enjoyment. It’s in the Bible, Proverbs 5:18-19, “Let your manhood be a blessing; rejoice in the wife of your youth. Let her charms and tender embrace satisfy you. Let her love alone fill you with delight.” I Thessalonians 4:3-5,


Sex Before Marriage: Why We Chose Not To Go There
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10 Responses

  1. Kiki says:

    Wowww… That has been well said if I must say. But as for everything else, not everybody sees it that way. Some guys wouldn’t even want to go out with a girl if he knows that she is a virgin, he thinks it’ll be too complicated and weird. Others say that they’ll never stay with girls that wont sleep with them during the time the go out. Because, they don’t know if the girls like them or not. The feeling after it will determine if the girl is worth marriage or not. And some of us are so naive and don’t want to get dumped and agree to do it.

    But then again, it’s not something that is easy to do, stay a virgin until marriage. A lot of us would like for that to happen but it’s not always the case. When you like a guy and he knows how to get what he wants, and waits for the perfect moment,it wont be hard a hell of a job.

    • Thanks for KIKI, but one thing I know for sure, I don’t really care what other people do or think I do me. I know what you are saying people will always be people we can’t change that. And yeah most men won’t go with someone that’s a virgin but to others that’s a challenge…

  2. Gasou says:

    I realy like your article and give ya’ll respect for not having sex eventhough you have been together for so ong. I encourage ya’ll to keep it like that. I agree with you saying that “a honeymoon isn’t really one if I have been getting it on prior…” Last week a woman came to my job with her husband buying dresses for pregnant woman. she told me that she came here on her honeymoon and she’s one month pregnant. I asked myself how long she’s been here then 2 months? The first thing that came in my mind was are they enjoying this honeymoon?

  3. Dominica says:

    Its is best that non of the partners indulge in sex before marriage, but in a society of today you can understand why a man would want to test the waters before he jump in..
    especial if the woman was re-owned.. cause you just might be getting damaged goods.

    That being said: I will emphasize people pray about their mate. cause the Lord will not give you more than you bare in fact He has your best interest at heart.

    Trust God and the mate you receive will be a real gift weather they be brand new, reposes ed , recondition, like new or won out.

    The key of marriage is not sex. but relationship , humans are the only primates that has sex just for the fun of it.. Now i wonder if fun sex with your wife is sin.. :) should sex be for procreation only. hmm thats a next topic

    • Dominica, I completely understand what you are saying about buying damaged goods and I don’t blame you. My thing is that we should be with someone for what we see and for something deeper than just the sex aspect. Sex is really important in a relationship but it’s not everything. If you taste the water it’s not what you expected are you going to leave? Did you like that person for their goodies? These are some of the questions we have to ask and answer.

      I don’t think have sex with your wife just for fun is a sin. Having sex with someone that’s not your wife is a sin.

  4. Rosie says:

    Honestly,i love it.Do you know why i love it?because virginity is not something that you can ever take back.Some females wich they could stop have sex before marriage,but they can’t.its a hard decision to take after all.You really need to be with the right person to understand your point.But it is so sad that most of the man will walk away after telling them such thing.They will look at you like ok, you use to do it before and it will not make any different if you stop now.its not like you are going to be a virging back again ext……that is the type off answers you will received from a man if you tell him you want to stop having sex and want to wait after marriage.

    My advice for all my ladies is that if you pray about it and you ask God to guide you.He will help you stop.I know some of you ladies said all the times that you pray and ask God to help you stop doing something and you keep on getting worst. but let me tell you something.How do you except God to help you, if you are not willing to make the effort yourself?

    Yes, you need to pray and make the first move then God will take place in what you ask him to do.First, you need to be ready to let that man go if he does not agree with the decision you make.then keep praying until you find the right one and also to ask God to help you find a man that’s going to understand and agree with the decision you make.

    I know its not easy to find these type off man on earth,but with God help everything will be great.

    • Thanks Rosie for letting us know what you think. I’ll tell you what though anyone that tells you something like, why stop now it’s not like you are going to become a Virgin again is not someone for you to be with. This is one selfish person simply because he’s only seeing his needs but not yours. Being in a relationship means to be help the other along the way. If this is something the person you are with is not willing to help you with, hey you know what to do.

      Do they have a point, yes I believe they do however, if it was something like you being a hooker, they would not tell you it’s not like if you stop now that’s going to change the fact that you used to be a hooker. So my whole thing is that most men are only out theirs and that’s about it. Not only men, women as well.

  5. doina says:

    my relationshp had vry diffrnt case
    my bf wants to do sex but not wd me bcz he kw i m nt ready 4 dt but still for him i told him to do sex wd him but he refused and said he kw me and nw he dont wana do sex wd me
    he said he wana leave me nw but he loves me i kw
    i dnt wana lose my virginity and also dont wana lose him
    plz tell me any suggestion wht cn i do next plz plz tell me

    • DOINA,
      Well the thing is it’s not that easy to just say oh leave him or do it with him. What I will tell you is that if someone can’t really respect your wishes and honor your vow, how much respect do they have for you? Love is understanding and supporting in spite of what want. If he loves you but don’t want to support you, does that say he loves you? Hope that can help you. Well, look at it this way, if you lose your virginity you will never get it back. So think about it real hard, make a decision that you will not regret later in life.

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