The Series: Part I

There are many different things that Johny and I disagree on, but this topic is definitely not one of them. As I develop this topic, I want you to go into it with me with an open mind and seriously reflect on yourself and of on your past orcurrent relationship. All I am looking to do is to open you up to the possibility that relationships are in fact made to last, but of course that’s going to take some work. So all in all this article or post is for those that who want and willing to make their relationships last!

What’s wrong with me?

If you’re in a relationship or have been in many relationships, then it’s about time you start asking yourself this very question. What in the world is wrong with ME? It’s important that we stop blaming the other person when things don’t work out, but rather see what part we played. It’s within our instinctive human nature to not take responsibility for our very actions, but that has got to change if we want our relationships to work.

One of the biggest issues that usually are the downfall of many relationships that I will address is the constant bickering, arguing and fighting. If you and your girl/guy are constantly arguing, you need to look at the facts. Who’s doing or starting the arguments? Are the arguments that you’re having even worth having? I know this sound like common sense but you would not believe how many relationships lack these things. I have to be the first to admit, that when Johny and I were younger, we would have many arguments, and me being the argumentative type ( I know, I know) I would many times find myself starting them and at times, I did it just because with no valid reason whatsoever. It wasn’t though until our relationship hit a rough patch that it had dawned on me that I was to blame for a lot of that was happening and had happened. (If you guys are good, I might just share what happened). Anyways, I had to take a step back and see what was wrong with ME. Now, don’t get me wrong, Johny wasn’t innocent in all of this but before I could have attempted to get him to see himself, I had to see myself. (I’m hoping this is making sense). So all I did was I told myself, the only time Johny and I would argue about something, was if it was worth it to both of us arguing about it. Now time and again we lose our way and find ourselves arguing about silly things, but we quickly realize what we’re doing and just laugh about how we can let something so small stand in the way of our happiness.

Looking at yourself and trying to figure out what’s wrong with you, I have to admit will be the hardest thing to do, but you have to know your flaws, your weaknesses, what you’re capable of and what you are incapable of. Stop looking for someone to blame and start taking responsibility, because relationships are definitely a two way street.

Next Stop: R-E-S-P-E-C-T

See you then!

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Alright, alright, I am guilty of everything that Dony my Fiancé said. Wow fiancé, a new word I have to get use to, but I have a feeling by the time I get use to it, it’ll be the time I start calling her my wife. Ok, enough about that.

There are some things that Dony left out of her story, so I thought that you guys deserved to hear my side. So once she said yes, I promise that a tear came down and I had to quickly say to myself “man up Johny”. When she got the chair, I asked her after she said “yes” to my proposal what it meant, well I told her this in Creole but I will see if I can translate in English. Basically I told her the chair meant “To put your behind here, because you’re not going anywhere”. I know, I know it doesn’t sound like much but I did have her laughing.

After she said yes, I told her I have to make it official so she wasn’t allowed yet to tell her parents and I decided not tell my mine. Typical Dony, she wanted me to tell her when I was going to officially ask her. I told her when you come home for the summer then I will ask you. She insisted that I tell her when I was going to do it so that she can look cute for the occasion. I told her “well babe, you always look cute to me so that shouldn’t be a problem.”

She came down to Miami and every chance she got or saw me or when we went out, she would always wear something cute in case it would be that moment.  I can’t say I didn’t like the attention. But it was fun for me to watch her, aching to know when I was going to do it and me just laughing on the inside.

So one day I decided to go buy her something in order for me to make it official. I went to the place and I got her something. But I knew she was going to come to my house later and since she’s a little bit nosy I knew she would be wondering what would be in the bag.  Knowing that, I used the opportunity that was presented to me, my dad just came back from Dominican Republic and he had gotten me some socks. I took out the gift that I had gotten for her from the store bag, and I placed the pair of socks in the bag instead.  Something told me to hide her gift so I hid it. While I was in the shower, she came over and she called out to me and told me she was here.  I promise and I am not making this up, the first thing she did as she entered the room, was go for the bag to see what was in it.

When I walked in, she had a confused look on her face as to why was that bag there but just had a pair of socks in it. I of course though it was hilarious because I knew I got her once again.

Long story short, I took her into the room, I got the gift from where it was hidden and I presented it to her. The thing is since she had already said yes, I didn’t really have to worry much but my hear t was still racing a little, my hand was shaking and I felt a bit clumsy. The words came out as I got on one knee….. And NO, NO, I didn’t cry no matter what she says.

This past summer, we spent two months together and those were the best two months of my life although sometimes she was acting a bit crazy, typical Dony. But I really enjoyed spending time with her, even though she did hog my television to watch all of her chick shows, and she made me gain some weight because we ate all the things she couldn’t eat while she was away, but I don’t think I could have had it any other way. What more can say other than I’m blessed to have her in my life!

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Hi everyone this is Dony and this is actually my very first post on Relationship DJ. Johny has been a trooper in holding it down while I’ve been studying. I am very grateful unto God for putting such a wonderful man in my life and I pray for all my readers that you too can find that special someone.  Now I know that I said this would be my very first post  but I want to retract that and rather say this is more of a story that I want to share with all of you, so sit back and enjoy the story!

As many of you may already know from our bios that last year I had to move away from home to go to school to pursue my dreams. J was extremely supportive in all that I wanted to do and we made sure that for the past year we did our best to make things remain as close to normal as possible even though we were miles away from each other. In the past year I only got to see J during my winter break, spring break and I was blessed to spend my summer with him too. During the time I was away I felt that our relationship and more so friendship had reached an entire new level that I can say neither of us has experienced. We had to deal with time constraints especially since we lived in different time zones and not to mention we had to deal with our busy schedules but somehow through it all we found time for each other.

During my second semester, J and I started to talk a lot about our future. We’ve always known we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together so we constantly talked about our marriage and our wedding, what it would be like, etc. I would always joke and say to him “you know in order for any of these things to happen you have to ask me to marry you first”. He would laugh and just tell me things like “hey you never know.” (typical J answer by the way)

Now while I was in school, I spent so many endless hours studying that I started to have trouble with my lower back, Johny figured that it had to be the chair that I was sitting on that was causing me to have this pain, so after convincing me to change the chair I was sitting on, he told me he would get me  a desk chair as an early birthday present. I finally decided to give in and he purchased the chair. On May 4^th, 2010 I got one of those delivery papers on my door letting me know that my chair was left at my building’s front office and was available to be picked up. I was so exhausted that day that I called Johny and told him that “ I think I’ll just wait until tomorrow to go and pick up the chair.” But for some unknown reason to me at the time he kept nagging (sorry bae) to go pick up the chair. So again I gave in and went to the office to pick it up. When I reached the office told them I was there to pick up a package, they asked me if I was there to pick up the chair, and all the office personnel had huge grins on their faces. I answered them saying “yes” and thinking to myself “okay these people are weird cause I’m only here to pick up a chair.” So while picking up the chair I remained on the line with J and the lady brought the chair and asked me if this was it, and I said “yeah I guess it looks like it.” But then she said “No, look to see if this is it”, while pointing on the sticker that says the name of the recipient of the package.  Again I’m thinking to myself “weird” but when I looked at the sticker all I remember happening is me freezing in place and seeing on the sticker “happy bday and will you marry me?” All I heard myself saying to Johny on the phone was “are you serious?” repeatedly. And all I could hear the office personnel saying, “so what is it going to be?” When I finally realized that this was all happening I finally did answer Johny and told him “of course I want to marry you.”

So  you guys, he got me, I always thought in my mind that I would just know exactly the day and time of how and when he would propose to me, so to say the least I definitely hadn’t seen this one coming. When I did get home this summer though Johny did get down on his knee since he hadn’t the chance to do it then, and now we can say that we are engaged and next step is spending the rest of our lives together by becoming husband and wife.

For now…this is where our proposal story ends. But we will be sure to keep you all updated on our relationship stories and always feel free to share with us you r very own.

Xoxo,

Dony

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Man; what is your role in a relationship:

Once again we would like to extend our gratitude to all of our readers and if you are new ready please be sure to subscribe to our web site feed or signup for our email newsletter.

Let’s get down to business…

I am kind of old fashion and nowadays in a relationship it’s hard to determine who wears the pants or the panties. Anyone I talk you about this type of things can tell you my words and ideas have never changed. I get upset sometimes when I see men are being run by their girlfriends or wives. If you are a man know your role and grow a pair of you know what (lol).

A man’s role in a relationship is to cherish and care for his woman first and foremost. Having your woman taking care of you man, and you sitting around not contributing doesn’t make you a man, at least not to me, a loser maybe, but a man definitely no. I have witnessed many times where the woman is the bread winner of the house and the man is just sitting around or just hanging out with the boys around the block as his woman is out working hard and sometimes even struggling to make ends meet, simply because the man is too lazy to work or claims he can’t find a job.

I mean I understand due to this economy some things may cause a man not to have a job; I am not talking about men that due to unforeseeable circumstances don’t have a job. No, if you got laid off and you are still looking for a job or you are sick and cannot work, then I am not talking to you.  But if you just the type that sits on your butt all day and are not doing anything good and productive and expecting your woman to take care of you, I AM TALKING TO YOU THEN. A man should definitely be able to provide for his woman in some shape or form, it may not be financially but he has to be able to do for his woman and family.

Now don’t get me wrong finances isn’t everything, but it is a lot of times a deal breaker in most relationships which is I used it as my primary example, but there are other equally important things that a “real man” should do in a relationship.

5 Things A Man Should Do In A Relationship

1. Take responsibility – don’t blame your girl/wife when you are wrong.
2. Show leadership – where there’s problem, be the main one to find a solution, take care of business.
3. Make decisions – be decisive and whatever the outcome maybe take responsibility for it.
4. Be Strong - you can ask anyone that knows me; they probably tell you that I rarely get mad simply because I know how to manage my anger. I am always keeping it strong for my girl because I have to be strong for her.
5. Be a man – be self-reliant, be disciplined, be trust worthy, be the care taker.

Now for my rampage: Many women have ceased this opportunity to run the show because they are the bread winner in the relationship. Well I got news for you too; money doesn’t determine who’s the man or the woman.  If you for once thought that since you are making more money than your man you can act as if you are the man of the house you have something else coming.

It doesn’t matter if I am making $2 an hour and my girlfriend/wife is making $20 an hour, I still wear the pants, which means that it’s not about her money or my money but about our money and we both decide how and where it should get spent. Ok rampage over, just needed to get that off my chest.

But to conclude, a man should realize and understand how important and significant his role is in a relationship, I don’t think a woman would want a man that couldn’t stand up and take charge if need be. Men your woman depend on you, so man up!

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It was March 8^th 1997, my second day in this new city, state, country and a new church. As I walked into the church that morning, I was greeted by the ushers standing at the door and they offered to show me the way to inside of the church. I guess since they saw that I was young they sent me to the junior’s class.   I think I was 2 years or older than most of the kids in that class. I walked in and sat down in the back room. I had no idea what was going on or what they were saying, after all I had just migrated from a non English speaking country. I as sat in the back trying to figure out what they were saying or singing, I saw her walked across the room making her way out to go to the restroom.  My eyes followed her as she made her out the door, and no, I didn’t follow her to the restroom .

I was counting and hoping that she would walk back in the room. And surely enough she came back. As she made her way to the front of the class I watched her again. From that moment my heart dropped. I know what you must be thinking,  at a young age I couldn’t have fallen in love, well I didn’t call it love I just knew from the way that I was feeling that I must have really liked her. Well, you may ask how you can really like someone you barely knew, I don’t really know, all I knew is that I just did and it just happened. Ok, let’s get back to the story. My thoughts were playing soccer in my mind, kicking ideas left and right. But with all the ideas, I had no way of communicating with this girl because I didn’t speak her language. I knew that she may understand mine but I wasn’t thinking about that at the moment. From that moment on it got pretty bad because all of my attention and thoughts were all about this girl. After church was over, I stood by and watched her lips as she spoke to her friends.

Going home

On my way home, my mother was asking what we learned at church today, I had nothing to say, I know shame on me. My older brother and sister saw how distracted and distant I was being and that’s when they asked me what was going on and I told them I just saw this girl at church today and she’s going to be my girlfriend. To my older siblings this was just a joke because they thought that since I don’t speak the language and since she’s so pretty that I was way over my head, especially since she may have had other prospects or guys that were trying to talk to her, but none of that really mattered to me. I didn’t see the other guys there because they were of no concern to me. So for months I tried to find ways to talk to this girl and ended up with no success. A few months later, I found myself  sitting with a group of people including her older brother and he asked me which girl at the church that I liked, I quickly replied, “your sister”. Although he said ok, I knew he probably meant, good luck buddy, don’t think it’s going to happen.

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