I have been dating my girl for a while now and we have never celebrated Valentine’s Day not once during our relationship. Does that make us the odd couple, well you can say that if you want but we are out lasting most of the couples that do celebrate Valentine’s Day.

Before I even start this, please understand that I am not telling people not to celebrate February 14^th, hey if into this type of thing, go for it, but just take a look at my take on the whole thing.

My biggest problem with Valentine’s Day is that it is the only day the best comes out of most relationships.  Some people are really looking forward to it because it’s the only day that their husband, boyfriend treats them with a little bit of respect.  If you think you are worth getting pampered, flowers, chocolate and gifts once a year that is all good and dandy.  Wouldn’t you like to have the same type of treatment all year long, at least most of the year?

Why can’t your love one receive the same kind of treatment, love, care and so on?  Well my take on this is that a love that is only shown once a year is not real love. Love shouldn’t be expressed to its fullest potential only on a holiday but on any day. I can’t wait one day out of the year to tell my girlfriend that I love her and buy her something nice and wait for next year to do the same thing over. Well let me tell you guys, I wouldn’t have a girlfriend if that were the case.

I remember being in high school, Valentine’s Days was the only day we would know who was dating who because of all the flowers and gifts being delivered. I mean it’s a nice gesture to send your girl friend a nice vase of flower while she’s at work or school with some nice words that will brighten up her day but don’t wait until the 14^th of February do it. If you really love or appreciate the person you are with, show it throughout the year not just that one day.

If your girlfriend or wife is a bit tense from working too hard; putting up with overwhelming school work and life as a whole, well send her to a spa where she can get pampered and massaged and the whole nine. If you don’t have that kind of money , well improvise, go on YouTube find some nice videos on how to give a good massage, my guess is she will appreciate it more than the one someone else touching her.

My girl and I buy each other stuff throughout the year; we express our love for each other throughout the year, so if I choose not to say how much “I love her” or appreciate it on Valentine’s Day it’s no big deal. I know a lot of people will disagree with me on this piece and I understand because these people may have the right husband, boyfriend that will treat them good all throughout the year. But is it fair to the ones that are not getting the same treatment throughout the year? Well I personally don’t think so but hey it’s just one person’s opinion.

My other thing about that day is that is it only a women’s day? Do guys get pampered too? I just want to know. I know some guys who are dating girls that are really disrespectful to them and during Valentine’s Day the guy still has to do all the nice things the girl expects! Why can’t that guy get some of that of that same ambiance? And guys if your girl only shows you respect, show you the love only on Valentine’s Day or do that special thing that you like only on that day, then that seems very problematic.

I know many may feel differently about this topic and what I have mentioned here but you have to really think about it. Why would you like your significant other to show you love and the respect that you deserve only once a year? As mentioned before, love is not a holiday but a regular day. Men, love your wife, girlfriend respect them, support them throughout the year. Ladies do the same thing, show your men support when he needs it the most, show him how much you love and appreciate all that he’s done every day not just that one day out of the year.

DrG1

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All too often people find themselves in situations where they have to part from the one they love or really like. People move because of work, school and other uncontrollable circumstances. A couple of months back my girlfriend found herself moving away to go to school, this was a situation that neither of us had any  real control of. So it is safe to say that I myself am in a Long Distance Relationship. OK…

One day I was talking to a friend and during our conversation she asked me how my girlfriend is doing and I told her that my girl is good; she’s just studying a lot for school. She then asked me about the school. I told her about the school and what my girlfriend is studying and I also told her my girlfriend’s school is 2000 miles away. My friend’s next question to me was, “are you still going to love her?” I replied to her, well of course, my love for my girlfriend is not based on our locations, situations, or circumstances rather for reasons much deeper than that. I will still love her because I love her for who she is and who she helps me to be.

So, how am I surviving this long distance relationship? I’ll tell you, it is not easy. At times I have to stay awake when I could have been sleeping but that doesn’t bother me at all. If anything I feel that if I don’t talk to her before going to bed it’s not going to be good night.

BE VERY SUPPORTIVE

Try your best to be supportive of your partner. Your significant other will need all the help he or she can get from you while being away. In my case my girlfriend is away for school, I have to understand although we agreed that we have to talk every day even if it’s for just a few minutes, I understand that she may not have the time when I have time.

School can be very overwhelming and at times she needs the support of her love ones. Although she’s getting love from her family as her boyfriend I have to show her some on my side too if not even more. You see, one thing I thank God for is that before she moved away for med school I started working at a med school. Seeing how the students at the school are struggling, studying long hours, trying to get ready for the exam helps me to understand what she’s going through.

I give her my undivided attention when she’s talking to me, complain about a stupid professor, how’s it’s snowing, etc. And I also do all that I can to give her some words of encouragement, not just saying things I think she wants to hear.

CEASE EVERY SECOND WITH HIM/HER

Whenever you get a chance, spend time with him/her and be sure to make it memorable. For instance my girlfriend is about 2000 miles away for school. She’s been away for about 6 months. We talk all the time; we Skyped and Gtalked because these things allowed me to see her. Hey, you have to make it work any possible way that you can. So, when she came down last December on vacation although we had a lot planed and we didn’t get to do most of those things, however the activities we did do we made sure that they were memorable.   Oh, guess what, when she came down it happened to be our many years anniversary. So, we went to a restaurant that we both love and took lots of pictures, enjoyed each other’s company and the food as well. One other thing we did that was really good and memorable is that night we went bowling with friends and family. We had a great time. I know how important it is to her to be with her family and friends.

Different things will work for different couples but you really need to find out what makes you guys happy individually and as a couple. For the guys if you have to pick her up at the airport I would suggest buying her some nice flowers, a teddy bear that will welcome her as she enters the car to sit down. Trust me on that one, she will cherish that moment and will always look forward to coming back home after all a happy girlfriend is a happy, you know the rest.

Oh one last thing, I don’t think I should say but I know she will remember is the fact that she beat in playing Mortal Kombat. I thought I had it but she beat me a couple of times.

My Last Thought on Long Distance Relationships

Guys, let me tell you something, no girl wants to be with a guy without knowing that there may be something in the future for them. You may not believe this but talking about your future with your girlfriend or boyfriend while being away will also help you guys keep it going. No one wants to feel that he/she is wasting his/her time with someone. Hey if you feel that you are wasting your time with a relationship that is not going anywhere, I say quit while you are ahead. It doesn’t make sense to be with a girl/guy in a long distance relationship where there’s no real commitment.

So show support to your significant other and cherish and cease every moment you guys spend together and these are things I think that will help your relationship last.

Stay tune for more survival tips.

DrG1

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This is a Great story posted to a great site by a reader….

Dear The Things We Talk About, I have read many of your blog posts and I have decided to share my story with you.

The past love

I have been dating this guy for two years now; he’s real good to me. He has all that I’ve ever wanted in a man. To be honest, being in a relationship was the last thing I wanted when I met him. After talking for a few months he wanted to take it to the next level, so we did.  The beginning of our relationship wasn’t that great because I was still healing from my previous one.  I was with my ex for four years, we talked about getting married, and having kids, loving each other for life little did I know, he was cheating on me from the beginning.  After our four year anniversary I found out the girlfriend he had before me was six months pregnant for him. So I ended the relationship and closed that chapter in my relationship.

The new Love

Let’s get back to the love of my life well at least I think that’s what he is. In the beginning of our relationship, really enjoyed hanging out with him, he would take me out every weekend, and we would go to all the fancy places.  The sky was the limit for the things he would have done for me. The sad thing was that I couldn’t open my heart to him. So, I would treat him unfairly. I didn’t respect him at all, he couldn’t tell me anything. I would only do what I wanted to do. I wasn’t trying to treat him bad on purpose, it just kept happening. Sometimes I would say the meanest thing to him and felt bad about it later. Through all this he stayed with me.

The reality check

I got a reality check on April of last year when he finally came to his senses, and told me we were through. Boy that was the worst day of my life. He told me I was killing his manhood, and as much as he loved me the best thing to do was to go our separate ways. I thought he was joking because this was the second time he ended our relationship. Two weeks went by and he didn’t call me. I called him a few times but no answer. I didn’t know what to do, so I went by his house. When I got there I saw his car so I went up to his apartment knocked on the door, guess what, he never answered the door. I went back home and I cried like a baby that day. But I never stopped trying.

The day I begged for a second chance / opened up to him

Finally, one day I sent him a text message, I think he replied hours later. I asked him if we could talk, and he told me to come over after work. That day I poured my heart and tears out to him to give us a second chance. Yes ladies I begged him to take me back. And I had him promise me that he would never leave me no matter what. From that day I opened my heart to him. I decided to take another chance with love. I asked GOD to help me change some of my ways. This man shows me how it feels to love someone and how it feels to be loved. I found myself doing things that I said I would not do. For example, I called his father every now and then. I use to say that I would never deal with a guy’s parent. I don’t even call my own father like that, (Sad, HUH!!!).  Sometime I look back over our lives and wished that I had done some things differently.   He still treats me the same. I can’t wait for the day I get to change my last name to Mrs. Smith (his last name).

Final thought

Many times we allow our past relationships to dictate what we do in our current relationship. So the message for all of you out there reading this is treat each relationship as if it were your first. Much love the things we talk about!

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