Hey you guys, thank you for your readership to our site. I know I have been missing in action for a while however, I have been getting some good stories and insightful information about long distance relationships from a couple that has been through it. As you read this, please keep in mind, I didn’t make any changes but post it word for word, from the couple.

When/How/Where did you guys meet?

Don: Val and I met at church about 6 years ago, but it wasn’t the old school meet and greet. She had been attending my church for about a year and Val claims that she had never noticed me. I use to notice her, she was extremely pretty but I thought she was really young. It was when I found out she was really 18 (legal) I made my move.

Val: I met Don at my Dad’s church. I didn’t even know if he was at the church, because I use to always sit near the front, and once church ended, I left. I was pretty new there and didn’t socialize with too many of the young adults. It was about one year into my presence at the church that I heard this girl going on and on about this hot guy named Don. I was curious about who he was and when I saw him…the only words that came to mind was “wow, that’s a sexy man!”

First Date

Don: Our first date was when I invited Val to my graduation party. It was a special time for me, for I just had graduated college. It was a beach party and I couldn’t wait to see Val in a bikini, and she didn’t let me down. Val had on a white 2 piece that complimented her petite frame just right. We hung out near the water, talked for a little bit and again at the picnic area. She seemed really sweet and had the most amazing eyes and smile. We took a picture together that I still have. That day, I will never forget, for I felt that Val was truly my graduation present from God himself.

Val: Our first date was memorable. Don had invited me to his graduation beach party. I accepted his invitation under one condition, he had to also ask my father for permission. To my surprise Don didn’t even sweat it, being all bold and brave he asked my dad that same day. I don’t know what got over me that day at the party, I couldn’t keep my eyes off of Don, even though, I felt he wasn’t paying me too much attention. He looked so cute freestyle rapping with his friends and joking around with his off the wall sense of humor. We did speak for a while and later that day he asked me if we could continue to talk. I, of course was nonchalant about it and said, “sure, why not,” while my heart was screaming out “hell yes!”

How long before it became a long distance relationship and what circumstances caused the long distance gap

Don: The strange thing that happened is that ever since the beach party we never stopped talking. We would call each other 2-3 times per day. It was like we were childhood best friends that have become more than friends. I shared things with her that surprised myself. Val and her conversations were like the climax of having a climax, if you get what I mean. All the things that I could ever want to feel I felt them. We talked constantly for about 2 months and by 3 weeks into it, I wanted her to have my babies. Our relationship was made official about 2.5 months after we met. It was really a bitter sweet moment for she had to move about 250 miles away within the same state because of her parent’s job relocation. Although it was hard, a change in zip and area code was not going to discourage me from being away from my new found “love.”

Val: Don and I became a couple about 3 months after we met. We spoke to each other on a daily basis. Sometimes, I felt like it was a bit much, but Don’s conversation was like a drug, and I was like an addict. He made me tingle in places I didn’t know could even tingle. I felt like I could be completely open with him, and he genuinely respected me and valued who I was. I couldn’t help but be attracted to Don, he spoke to me in a way that made me feel so special, and I loved who he was and who he wanted to be. Moving away from this man, that I began to love, was very difficult for me, but like everything else Don made the transition so smooth, and I looked forward to seeing him again.

How did you guys cop with the Distance in your relationship in terms of communication, visits and so on

Don: Val and I remained long distance for the remainder of our relationship as an unmarried couple. At first it was tough, but after seeing each other on a constant basis for about 2 years, we got use to it. Every time I’d visit it was “like” a holiday vacation. We would hold each other tight, kiss like we invented it, and be all over each other. The biggest challenge came in year 3 when I started medical school. The conversations got much shorter and the visits were very far in between. Balancing the medical and relationship parts of my life was one of the hardest things I had to do, but I respect Val a lot for being patient with me. During those times I needed her support just as much as she needed my touch and her maturity shined through in those rough moments.

Val: Ever since I moved, Don and I remained long distance. It bothered me, but I learned to cope with it. I was not going to give up on this man just because we weren’t in the same city. Sometimes it bothered me to be so far away, but I enjoyed the back and forth trips because it always added a new breath of excitement. Seeing Don always made me feel like a 5 year old going to Disney World for the first time. The success we had at surviving a long distance relationship is believing if God wants something for you, you will have it, and making sure you communicate all your expectations, wants, and needs with the “love of your life.”

The end result which is being married, how are things going so far, any advice to anyone about long distance relationships

Don & Val: The end result would be truly embracing the idea of being one. You share everything, your thoughts, your love for each other and God, your prayers, finances, fears, concerns, everything! You respect each other, although she may call you “Daddy,” the “man” is not the father or a dictator to the wife, and although you may call her “Mami,” the wife is not your mother and don’t expect her to treat you as though she is or ever will be. Communication, in a respectful manner, allows you to tell your spouse what’s on your mind. Also, you must constantly look out for each other; think of what he or she may need before they may even ask of it. For example if you’re thirsty and both of you are in the same location get your spouse something to drink as well. Longevity of marriage isn’t the key, its constantly tapping into that source of love your created with and trust that everything else will fall in line.

Concerning long distance relationships, if you feel that the person is the one God has chosen for you, go for it, but if you have any doubts, do not waste each other’s time and resources.

Stay tune for more success stories….

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Hey everyone, welcome back to relationshipdj!

Ok so I have an analogy for you guys, what happens if you leave your car door unlocked and someone steals your car aren’t you the one to blame, especially if you didn’t bother to check if the car door was  locked. What I’m saying is that you should always make sure that what you have remains protected, or it can really cost you. Ok so enough analogies for now; let’s get to the real point of it all.

I have always said and believed that if my girlfriend wants to do something as stupid as cheat on me, I don’t want it to be on my account or because of something I did or didn’t do.  Although men hate when women require their undivided attention, we do in fact try our best to provide all it if we can. I mean I can’t stand women that want attention 24/7. I think it’s just pure selfishness, when a woman wants a man’s world to revolve solely around her. With that said, I do know though that women are emotional creatures and they do in fact require that a man pay attention to them. They want to have that emotional connection with their man, to have something I feel to talk about with their girlfriends. So what I’m saying and this is for the men especially, if you have a girlfriend and you are not giving her the attention she requires, then you might as well, just stop being with her because she may start getting it elsewhere. Believe me some men can seek out women that are in relationships but are vulnerable because they aren’t getting the attention that they need from their own men, hey it doesn’t require much work on his part to do what her man isn’t doing.

Most of the time women end up cheating or come close to doing it because the guy they are with are not putting in the work in the relationship. If your girl feels that she’s doing all she can to make it work and you are just doing the minimal on your part, if she gets with someone else that’s giving the same amount as she is, then gentlemen you really don’t have a case in getting mad. Now I’m not condoning the cheating part, but I guess what I’m saying is that, women will naturally go where they feel wanted, needed or appreciated.

Ok so here’s a short story of a girl that’s dating this guy and she feels sometimes she’s putting in all of the extra work and he isn’t making much of an effort. They are in a long distance relationship and sometimes they go on for days without talking to each other for some reason or another. Sometimes it’s work, school, etc. Right now the situation is pretty intense because her man doesn’t even live in the states so talking to him is so much more difficult. In the past week he recently moved from one apartment to another and he hasn’t gotten his phone hooked up so they really haven’t spoken to each other for a good number of days. So this has really put a strain on their relationship, to her it seems that he just isn’t even trying to find a way to contact her at least to check in and let her know that he’s alright. She feels helpless and really wishes that he would put in that extra effort to make the relationship work. But it gets better, she is now in a situation where a “friend” from the past has stepped back into her life and he is saying and doing all of the things that she simply wishes her man would do for her. She finds herself being drawn into this friend although she is still very much in love with her man. Problem, I would definitely think so.

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Ok!! you guys I know I have kept you guys waiting for a while now. The entire wait was due to my first class in grad school being so time consuming by writing papers, case studies and exams. Ok, well I am done with that class now so here’s the rest of the story.

After that day we talked in the stairways things kind of changed

Ok, after that day we talked in the stairways things kind of changed. I was able to say hi to her when I saw her around. As I mentioned previously being a foreigner and not knowing the language kind of stopped me from saying all the things that I wanted to say to her. Well to my advantage, one day I met this guy that used to stay close to our house. We walked to school every morning together and I became friends with this guy because my dad knew his mom and one morning on his way to school my dad told him to watch out for me so I wouldn’t get beat up because for some reason other kids took pleasure in beating up those that were new to this country.

Ok, let’s get back to the story. So one day I asked my new buddy if he could do me a favor (all that was in my native language of course) and he asked me what I needed. I said there’s this girl at church I kind of like but I want to express my feelings to her but can’t really say anything in English and I don’t know if she’ll understand all the things that I have to say. So he agreed to write a letter for me. I told him to write for the following for: “Hey, how are you doing, I know we haven’t talked much since the last time we were stood in the stairways but that never stopped me from thinking about you. I really liked the moment we spent talking. Hope all is well with you.”

So, little did I know the guy didn’t write a thing I said but there was no way of me knowing that. So I took the letter and handed it off to one of the kids at the church so that they could give it to her. The letter was handed to the wrong girl. After the other girl finished reading the letter she started making fun of me because she thought I liked her and she was acting all “miss mighty” as if she had something I wanted but couldn’t have, thinking that she knew better than to date a foreigner that could barely speak the language. I found out later that the guy made so many mistakes grammatically in the letter. Funny right? Well I didn’t think so at that time because I thought since he spoke the language he could have written but he didn’t know how to write himself.

So the letter didn’t get to the girl it was intended for, I was mad but hey there was not a thing for me to do. Now, I have this problem whenever I know that I have to go to church and see that cute girl my heart started to race like it was in a NASCAR 5000 up in Daytona. And if you must know this is not because I am scared or anything, it’s just something that happens when I really like someone.

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It was March 8^th 1997, my second day in this new city, state, country and a new church. As I walked into the church that morning, I was greeted by the ushers standing at the door and they offered to show me the way to inside of the church. I guess since they saw that I was young they sent me to the junior’s class.   I think I was 2 years or older than most of the kids in that class. I walked in and sat down in the back room. I had no idea what was going on or what they were saying, after all I had just migrated from a non English speaking country. I as sat in the back trying to figure out what they were saying or singing, I saw her walked across the room making her way out to go to the restroom.  My eyes followed her as she made her out the door, and no, I didn’t follow her to the restroom .

I was counting and hoping that she would walk back in the room. And surely enough she came back. As she made her way to the front of the class I watched her again. From that moment my heart dropped. I know what you must be thinking,  at a young age I couldn’t have fallen in love, well I didn’t call it love I just knew from the way that I was feeling that I must have really liked her. Well, you may ask how you can really like someone you barely knew, I don’t really know, all I knew is that I just did and it just happened. Ok, let’s get back to the story. My thoughts were playing soccer in my mind, kicking ideas left and right. But with all the ideas, I had no way of communicating with this girl because I didn’t speak her language. I knew that she may understand mine but I wasn’t thinking about that at the moment. From that moment on it got pretty bad because all of my attention and thoughts were all about this girl. After church was over, I stood by and watched her lips as she spoke to her friends.

Going home

On my way home, my mother was asking what we learned at church today, I had nothing to say, I know shame on me. My older brother and sister saw how distracted and distant I was being and that’s when they asked me what was going on and I told them I just saw this girl at church today and she’s going to be my girlfriend. To my older siblings this was just a joke because they thought that since I don’t speak the language and since she’s so pretty that I was way over my head, especially since she may have had other prospects or guys that were trying to talk to her, but none of that really mattered to me. I didn’t see the other guys there because they were of no concern to me. So for months I tried to find ways to talk to this girl and ended up with no success. A few months later, I found myself  sitting with a group of people including her older brother and he asked me which girl at the church that I liked, I quickly replied, “your sister”. Although he said ok, I knew he probably meant, good luck buddy, don’t think it’s going to happen.

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