I’m 25 years old, and my boyfriend is 28years old. We have been dating for 2 years .and we love each other very much. I believe he is the one for me, and he feels the same way about me. I’m ready for us to start our lives as one. He tells me how he wants to marry me, but says he’s not yet ready.

Ladies I’m 25 yrs old and I’m not getting any younger. We all know that men are never ready for marriage right. They just want to live with you and enjoy you with no type of commitment. I’m not asking him to marry me today or tomorrow but all I’m saying is I want to get marry and have children before I turn 30. My biological clock is ticking.  Don’t get me wrong I’m not trying to pressure him to marry me, but I would like to really know when he will make the commitment.

As we were talking we happened to jump on that subject and he was telling me how he wants to do this and that before we get married. I was looking at him funny because I’m ready. He’s talking about four to five years from now and I don’t have that kind of time to sit and wait on him. I told him that I’m not going to date him for no more than three years without seeing a ring on my finger. Ladies January 5, 2011 will mark our three years, and if I don’t see a ring on my finger I told him I’m walking away without looking back. I’m not crazy and I’m not giving him an alternative I’m just keeping it real.

I know what I want in my life and I have plans and dreams too. I’m content with what God has blessed me with  so far. I just need someone to share it with. The main point to my story is that I’m not going to sit around and let a guy enjoy me and he doesn’t want to marry me. If we are together I believe it’s because we have some type of connection or something.  We already invested two years of our lives why not just make it official. Why it is that men are afraid of getting married?

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All too often people find themselves in situations where they have to part from the one they love or really like. People move because of work, school and other uncontrollable circumstances. A couple of months back my girlfriend found herself moving away to go to school, this was a situation that neither of us had any  real control of. So it is safe to say that I myself am in a Long Distance Relationship. OK…

One day I was talking to a friend and during our conversation she asked me how my girlfriend is doing and I told her that my girl is good; she’s just studying a lot for school. She then asked me about the school. I told her about the school and what my girlfriend is studying and I also told her my girlfriend’s school is 2000 miles away. My friend’s next question to me was, “are you still going to love her?” I replied to her, well of course, my love for my girlfriend is not based on our locations, situations, or circumstances rather for reasons much deeper than that. I will still love her because I love her for who she is and who she helps me to be.

So, how am I surviving this long distance relationship? I’ll tell you, it is not easy. At times I have to stay awake when I could have been sleeping but that doesn’t bother me at all. If anything I feel that if I don’t talk to her before going to bed it’s not going to be good night.

BE VERY SUPPORTIVE

Try your best to be supportive of your partner. Your significant other will need all the help he or she can get from you while being away. In my case my girlfriend is away for school, I have to understand although we agreed that we have to talk every day even if it’s for just a few minutes, I understand that she may not have the time when I have time.

School can be very overwhelming and at times she needs the support of her love ones. Although she’s getting love from her family as her boyfriend I have to show her some on my side too if not even more. You see, one thing I thank God for is that before she moved away for med school I started working at a med school. Seeing how the students at the school are struggling, studying long hours, trying to get ready for the exam helps me to understand what she’s going through.

I give her my undivided attention when she’s talking to me, complain about a stupid professor, how’s it’s snowing, etc. And I also do all that I can to give her some words of encouragement, not just saying things I think she wants to hear.

CEASE EVERY SECOND WITH HIM/HER

Whenever you get a chance, spend time with him/her and be sure to make it memorable. For instance my girlfriend is about 2000 miles away for school. She’s been away for about 6 months. We talk all the time; we Skyped and Gtalked because these things allowed me to see her. Hey, you have to make it work any possible way that you can. So, when she came down last December on vacation although we had a lot planed and we didn’t get to do most of those things, however the activities we did do we made sure that they were memorable.   Oh, guess what, when she came down it happened to be our many years anniversary. So, we went to a restaurant that we both love and took lots of pictures, enjoyed each other’s company and the food as well. One other thing we did that was really good and memorable is that night we went bowling with friends and family. We had a great time. I know how important it is to her to be with her family and friends.

Different things will work for different couples but you really need to find out what makes you guys happy individually and as a couple. For the guys if you have to pick her up at the airport I would suggest buying her some nice flowers, a teddy bear that will welcome her as she enters the car to sit down. Trust me on that one, she will cherish that moment and will always look forward to coming back home after all a happy girlfriend is a happy, you know the rest.

Oh one last thing, I don’t think I should say but I know she will remember is the fact that she beat in playing Mortal Kombat. I thought I had it but she beat me a couple of times.

My Last Thought on Long Distance Relationships

Guys, let me tell you something, no girl wants to be with a guy without knowing that there may be something in the future for them. You may not believe this but talking about your future with your girlfriend or boyfriend while being away will also help you guys keep it going. No one wants to feel that he/she is wasting his/her time with someone. Hey if you feel that you are wasting your time with a relationship that is not going anywhere, I say quit while you are ahead. It doesn’t make sense to be with a girl/guy in a long distance relationship where there’s no real commitment.

So show support to your significant other and cherish and cease every moment you guys spend together and these are things I think that will help your relationship last.

Stay tune for more survival tips.

DrG1

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The things we talk about is a blog that is multifaceted, we have an array of topics that we choose to talk about and share with our readers. We are open to different ideas and views on these various topics. One of our favorite topics as it is for in a relationship and unfortunately there may be some difficult questions that we may need to ask ourselves about the relationships that we are in. Here at the things we talk about, we try our best to tackle some of these questions and provide an answer to them.

What you are about to read, may shed some light on some of these questions you’ve asked yourself or will maybe one day ask yourself or what you’re about to read, you may completely disagree with or maybe have a different take or opinion on, which is fine as well. Don’t hesitate to check out our blog and write your thoughts and comments about these different topics.

The things we talk about simply wants to reach out and help anyone and everyone while having fun at the same time. We hope that you will enjoy our compilation of thoughts on relationships and invite a friend to read and share in this free e-book. Have a blast and let love take you to new heights!

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This is a Great story posted to a great site by a reader….

Dear The Things We Talk About, I have read many of your blog posts and I have decided to share my story with you.

The past love

I have been dating this guy for two years now; he’s real good to me. He has all that I’ve ever wanted in a man. To be honest, being in a relationship was the last thing I wanted when I met him. After talking for a few months he wanted to take it to the next level, so we did.  The beginning of our relationship wasn’t that great because I was still healing from my previous one.  I was with my ex for four years, we talked about getting married, and having kids, loving each other for life little did I know, he was cheating on me from the beginning.  After our four year anniversary I found out the girlfriend he had before me was six months pregnant for him. So I ended the relationship and closed that chapter in my relationship.

The new Love

Let’s get back to the love of my life well at least I think that’s what he is. In the beginning of our relationship, really enjoyed hanging out with him, he would take me out every weekend, and we would go to all the fancy places.  The sky was the limit for the things he would have done for me. The sad thing was that I couldn’t open my heart to him. So, I would treat him unfairly. I didn’t respect him at all, he couldn’t tell me anything. I would only do what I wanted to do. I wasn’t trying to treat him bad on purpose, it just kept happening. Sometimes I would say the meanest thing to him and felt bad about it later. Through all this he stayed with me.

The reality check

I got a reality check on April of last year when he finally came to his senses, and told me we were through. Boy that was the worst day of my life. He told me I was killing his manhood, and as much as he loved me the best thing to do was to go our separate ways. I thought he was joking because this was the second time he ended our relationship. Two weeks went by and he didn’t call me. I called him a few times but no answer. I didn’t know what to do, so I went by his house. When I got there I saw his car so I went up to his apartment knocked on the door, guess what, he never answered the door. I went back home and I cried like a baby that day. But I never stopped trying.

The day I begged for a second chance / opened up to him

Finally, one day I sent him a text message, I think he replied hours later. I asked him if we could talk, and he told me to come over after work. That day I poured my heart and tears out to him to give us a second chance. Yes ladies I begged him to take me back. And I had him promise me that he would never leave me no matter what. From that day I opened my heart to him. I decided to take another chance with love. I asked GOD to help me change some of my ways. This man shows me how it feels to love someone and how it feels to be loved. I found myself doing things that I said I would not do. For example, I called his father every now and then. I use to say that I would never deal with a guy’s parent. I don’t even call my own father like that, (Sad, HUH!!!).  Sometime I look back over our lives and wished that I had done some things differently.   He still treats me the same. I can’t wait for the day I get to change my last name to Mrs. Smith (his last name).

Final thought

Many times we allow our past relationships to dictate what we do in our current relationship. So the message for all of you out there reading this is treat each relationship as if it were your first. Much love the things we talk about!

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