Believe it or not, maturity plays a huge role in a relationship. A lot of people have the misconception that maturity works hand in hand with age. Not true. Age is not a measure of maturity. Maturity is measured with knowledge. It’s important to understand how your maturity can affect the way you comprehend and handle certain concepts that are needed in a relationship.

When I first met my boyfriend, I had no intentions in getting into a relationship. At that time in my life I had decided to take a break in dating. I was unhappy with my previous relationships. I knew what I needed, what I wanted, what made me happy, but I wasn’t getting that. Well my boyfriend and I started talking and as time passed, we found a growing interest for each other. We mutually agreed to be in a relationship. During the beginning, we were still in the process of getting to know each other. Like every typical couple we would of course have arguments.

When we argue, my boyfriend has this habit of not saying anything when he’s mad. At times I would try to explain myself or ask him what’s wrong and I would get no response from him. This would irk me so much that I would just give up and not talk to him as well. Obviously this doesn’t resolve the solution. Because the communication in our relationship was not mature it made situations worst. Then came the big issue that most couples struggle with, apologizing and forgiving. Our pride refused to let us admit our mistakes so none of us wanted to be the first to apologize. I used to be one of many people who hold grudges and never forgive. Over time as I thought about it, I saw that it’s not worth it. It was not worth my peace and joy. Believe it or not resentment and anger makes you lose focus on the positive things in life because that’s all you’re thinking about. Yes I may have been hurt before, but I didn’t want to be held back, missing out the better part of life. I found a great guy and I didn’t want to lose a growing relationship to that.

And back to communication, talking about your disagreements makes forgiving better. It brings compassion and understanding to one other despise of what went wrong. Once we talked about the situation and both voiced out our opinions and admit our mistakes, we made up and become stronger then before. Maturing at this point is simply accepting the faults and making amends. As the relationship began to progress, so did the levels of trust. With the past incidents I had with trusting, I was a bit more hesitant than before. We didn’t start to tell each other personal information until we were ready.

We both took our time and go to know each other. Little by little we gained our trust. As for me I wasn’t ready to trust him yet. He also admitted to me that he can be quite a flirt. He saying that really put my guards up. With all that happened to me in the past, I was extremely cautious with my associations and whom I shared my information. Like I said before communication is key and that is what we did. We spoke about it. Not just once but every time I had doubt. He was honest about his mistakes and history in the past. He was honest about his feelings for me and how he couldn’t see himself hurting someone like me. Sounds sweet right? I needed a little more then that.

After seeing his sincerity, seeing who he really was and countless reassurance from him, I was able to trust him and he has not failed me yet. Yes in a developing relationship you may ask, “Can I trust him or her?” I believe the first question should be “can people trust me?” Trust should be a two way process. Not everyone is the same on trust levels. Being cautious with who your info is shared with is the only mature way to build that trust. Trust also ties in with commitment. Maturity in trust allows you to have the ability to truly commit and understand what commitment is all about. If the integrity in the relationship was broken, you should be able to restore trust.

Well as for final words, do not stay focused on resentments and imperfections. Bring as much positivity as you can not letting little issues break you down. Stick it out when it get tough. Build your foundation and grow in maturity together. My boyfriend and I still have more steps to take but were heading there and we are expecting only the best.

 

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Tags: Age, forgiveness, Maturity, pride, Relationship