To marry or not to marry? I Am in need of Relationship Advice

Posted on: February 12th, 2010 by relationadmin | 3 Comments

Dear Relationshipdj,

I was reading one of your relationship stories and decided that I would like to share mine. I’m 25 years old and I have been dating this guy for about 5 years now. We both really love each other and I know that one day I want to marry this man, but I know that day can’t be anytime in the near future, but he wants it to be much sooner than I do.

You see, I’m in school and school is so important to me, and I just don’t feel mature enough to handle being in school and taking care of a husband all at the same time. I know that sounds selfish but it’s the truth. He tells me that he’s getting old and that he’s ready to start a family. What really hit home for me the other day was when he said he’s ready to start with or without me.

About a year and a half ago, he asked me to marry him, and I didn’t say no but I told him that we would be engaged for a long time if I did say yes. He told me that he didn’t need a long engagement, so he said he would wait until I was ready. Two months ago, one of his best buddies got married and he was the best man at the wedding, and that again stirred up his feelings of wanting to be married once again and he’s been riding me about it ever since.

I really love this man and I can’t imagine being with anyone else, and I know how fortunate I am to have a man that wants to spend the rest of his life with me, especially when that is a rarity in these days, but am I crazy for just not wanting to be married yet and take on that responsibility while having to deal with school.

I won’t be out of school for another 2 years and I asked him to just bear with me until I can get it all together but he told me that he just didn’t think he could lasts another 2 years waiting around for me to get “my life” together. I am so confused and scared because the last thing that I want to do is lose this man that I worked so hard to keep. So do I just marry him even if I don’t think I’m ready or do I let him go so he can find happiness?  Please help me!

MJ (789)

To marry or not to marry? I Am in need of Relationship Advice
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3 Responses

  1. Well MJ there’s no right answer to this question. It is clear that you love this man and some times we are forced to do things that we are not ready or willing to do. However, love is not everything. If you don’t feel ready to jump into something I would suggest to find a way to explain that to him without coming off selfish. He should understand this enough if he loves you. If he can’t wait, he just can’t wait. So, it’s going to be a tough one. When in love, compromise is possible. So try to find a middle ground.

  2. EmmaSJ says:

    Bull she doesnt need to marry him..if he loved her he would wait..she obviously not going anywhere..just want to better herself..She shouldnt compromise her education..it would be the worst mistake of her life.
    -My friend advice from FB

  3. dan says:

    “one day I want to marry this man, but I know that day can’t be anytime in the near future”
    So if you don’t want to get married, then it means that you are just buying a time and justifying that you are in school. What is the difference between married couple living togather and living with a boyfriend?
    ! you are not ready yet, when you are ready \… may be in 10 years then you can find someone NICE.
    you must release him from your fake love cage!!!!!!!!!!!
    if you are not ready NOW,
    take your time and study since study is more important to you than anything else, right!. Priority no.1 is school not the boyfriend so what you are talking about, it doesn’t’ make sense! hope this will help!

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