The thoughts of a Father-less Girl 

I’ve been living without my father for all my life and been living with my step father for most of my life and my mother every step of the way. Living with a step dad was bad and good at the same time. Good because he isn’t the boss of me and the phrase you are not my father was used many times, and bad because I have never had that father daughter type of relationship that most of my friends had.

My friends would always come to me and tell me how, “I love my daddy”, our “ugh my daddy’s getting on my nerves.” But just sit there and listen and imagine me in their situation. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t think about my biological father. Since elementary school, I would question my mom about my father but she thought that I was just too young to understand so she wanted to wait until I got older to tell me about him.

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Your maturity reflects on your relationship

Believe it or not, maturity plays a huge role in a relationship. A lot of people have the misconception that maturity works hand in hand with age. Not true. Age is not a measure of maturity. Maturity is measured with knowledge. It’s important to understand how your maturity can affect the way you comprehend and handle certain concepts that are needed in a relationship.

When I first met my boyfriend, I had no intentions in getting into a relationship. At that time in my life I had decided to take a break in dating. I was unhappy with my previous relationships. I knew what I needed, what I wanted, what made me happy, but I wasn’t getting that. Well my boyfriend and I started talking and as time passed, we found a growing interest for each other. We mutually agreed to be in a relationship. During the beginning, we were still in the process of getting to know each other. Like every typical couple we would of course have arguments.

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Boy Meets Girl

I was 21 years old at the time that we met.  I wish I could say that I knew he was the one that I was meant to be with but that was NOT the case.  There is a saying that goes something like this: “You wanna make God laugh? Make plans.” I did make plans.  I was going to be married to a tall dark and handsome man with a nice sized home, a perfectly manicured lawn, three children, and maybe a gold fish (I don’t care for dogs) all by the time I hit the age of 27 or 28. Things didn’t quite turn out that way and I am sooo glad they didn’t.

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Well self-esteem is how you value yourself. It’s how important you think you are. The building up of the self –esteem starts off at a young age. If as a child you were always told that you were pretty, it will stick with you. As for me, self- esteem was something I had to build. It’s not easy to establish a confidence when those around you are bringing it down.

I had a friend that was always picked on at school for as long as I can remember. People would make fun of how she looked which caused her to dislike her image. As she grew older she began to date.

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Diary of a Fatherless Girl

Too scared to get hurt

Someone once said that “a mother teaches her daughter how to be a woman, while a mother teaches her son how to love [and make a woman feel special]. A father teaches his son how to be a man, while a father teaches his daughter HOW TO LOVE.”

As mentioned before in my previous article Fatherless and Single – no father figure affects relationship I never had the presence of a father to love and to show me how to love. I never believed that I needed a man’s love. I always said that a man’s love wouldn’t make a difference. For so long I have tried to make myself believe  that I am fine, that my mom is enough for me and my life is perfect. As I’m getting older I start to realize that I can’t avoid the fact that I’m missing something and that I am in need of  a male companion and in need of love from a man; every time I see someone with his/her father my heart shatters. I have always wondered what it feels like to have a father, to wake up in the morning and say “Good morning dad”, to get drop off school by him and hug him and say “Bye dad” or to say “I love you dad.”

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